We Are Dog-Fearing People.

I am here to speak on behalf of the dog-fearing people. We are a neglected, oppressed, and suppressed lot. Nobody cares if we die of fang fright or go into permanent woof shock. There is no awareness and no concept of ‘dog-fear enabled’. The truth is that you know us. We are the people you love to hate. You know the ones who request you...

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Nude Awakening

Perhaps it is the apathy of people like me, who have the ability to speak out, that just makes it easier for idiots to randomly pronounce and proclaim so authoritatively about a community. And is it any wonder that over time, reiteration of skewed views by the media, slowly becomes the defacto opinion of the larger society? The newspaper...

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Kya ba so ba – Learning to speak south-indian urdu

Kya ba so ba. Ji. Ji. There. You mastered our language. :).I’d like to enlighten all the ill-enlightened Bangaloreans that the urdu you think is the urdu we speak is not the urdu we speak. The urdu you speak thinking it’s the urdu we speak is the urdu I like to call the “autowala urdu”. When we respond to you the same way you speak to us (like confident tannery road goondas), it’s because we are indulging you and having a laugh...

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Bald Men with Full Beards and Hairy Men with Goaties

Bald men with full beards. That's something I never understood. My first response is – uncle you are trying too hard. My second - gravity has lost direction. My third - dear lord in heaven, you are too ironic!So why would you want to do that? To prove that you are still capable of producing hair?? Dude. We know it. Because I don't know if...

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The Loo-ey Earthquake

I could just imagine the news. I could just imagine the embarrassment I would feel in the grave - recalling those dead moments when a rescue worker found my body in the loo - with my pants down!! Indonesia is hit by earthquakes on a regular basis. I knew that. I also knew that Singapore rests quite away from fault lines - unlikely to...

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Your baby is ugly

Your baby is ugly. It's true. I know you hate me already. Go on - hate me some more because I am going to say again. YOUR BABY IS UGLY. This is coming from me - the "Children are God's gift" and "I'll happily become the nanny" lady. Me who will wipe your baby's poo poo butt cheerily and shower kisses on her snotty cheeks. I am saying - Your...

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Aching Green

When I started GreeNiche, it took many people by surprise. Plants?? Gardening?? Really?? It was not an entirely unexpected response. Plants hold no fashion quotient in today’s world. And gardening has become such an archaic concept - relegated to mummies and grandpas. Growing up in a house with a sprawling courtyard was the best experience...

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